I'm alone tonight. The first days of autumn always bring nostalgia.

I can't believe Peanut is gone. Long gone. That skinny little body we worked so hard to build back up. Those wounds I cleaned and wrapped... They're all so much a part of history.

Why didn't I keep that dog? What was I afraid of?

I was young. And youth goes hand and hand with selfishness, fear of committment, uncertainty and immortality.

That pup is long gone. And if I could I would, but I imagine anyone who says they don't have regrets is a flat out liar.

I did what I could at the time. And I will always wish to have done more. For as long as I live. In every circumstance. That's how I am.