Good grief

I'm sitting at my desk jockeying spreadsheets, listening to my ipod, and the song from Dumbo came on... you know the one where he goes to visit momma in prison and she rocks him with her trunk through the bars.... "bayyybeee miiine.... don't you cryyyy....."

And it made me cry.

PMS anyone?



In other news - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOO AND HIS SISTER! XOXOXO

Working long hours. Both of us are. Haven't taken time to go grocery shopping. I am so hungry right now I swear there are little burritos and crunchwrap supremes with wings circling my head. Only being home for 2 hrs before bedtime is the pits. Not having a car is the pits.

I am home alone in the new house for the very first time right now. It's a strange feeling. Like maybe I should check to see that someone isn't hiding upstairs. The dog isn't even here. She's still in Michigan with Gramma because we haven't had time to drive back to get her after our own vacation last weekend. We really really need a local dog sitter.

I'm stinking up the place with a sauteed cabbage thing I'm cooking. And I'm so allergic to raw vegetables these days that my hands are swollen and itchy from chopping up the cabbage. I really got screwed with these food allergies. Know what I especially miss? Banana bread.

NPR is playing some great stories and interviews for veterans day. Interviews with Navajo code talkers and things.

God I can't get this dishwasher thing right. I just forgot and washed all my cooking dishes by hand.

She hates the new place

In our new house. This is very hard. Dog makes it hard. Do you remember when we first got her and I actually considered giving her back because she lost her mind every time we left her alone? Well we're doing it all over again. Although at this point I'd rather give the condo back than the dog. We have to make this work. Today I had to leave work and come home because she wouldn't stop barking. Five hours straight she barked. I am so unhappy. Our new neighbors are probably equally unhappy. We've tried herbal things, diffusers, little devices that make an unpleasant sound every time she barks, and we tried skyping the dog from work. For the rest of the week we're paying $25 a day for freaking dog daycare, until the dog prozac can kick in. And if that doesn't work... I don't have a plan G.

Can anybody possibly dog sit on Saturday night so that we can go to a wedding?

This sucks. Sucks sucks sucks.

not gay

This room makes me want a baby. It even has our rocking chair. Or maybe it's just the wall color that I want. Or the Nelson pendant lamp. You don't have to have a baby in order to have a Nelson pendant lamp. But this sure would go nice with a baby.

gay

I just ordered a little fundraiser Xmas wreath for the door of our new place. I hope it smells good. I kind of felt obligated and oddly excited because I actually will have a house to put a wreath on. Next stop, ornamental geese with seasonal outfits.

salaried life

I've just worked 13.5 hours straight. I even worked through lunch. No wait, I took two breaks to take dog out to poop. So the question now is, do I stop and do something else other than work before going to bed? Or do I just call it a day? It is my bedtime after all.

I'm trying to just be cool about this. The major projects have due dates, and so that means an eventual end. So long as more don't show up before these are completed... By November I'll have a little time of normal 9-5 working and maybe 7 evenings in a row with my boo! In our new house!

I guess writing a blog entry counts as doing something other than working before going to bed.

current events

Current events, sometimes I can't keep up with you. Sometimes I don't want to.

I hope I hope I hope we don't get the Olympics.

or has the current swallowed you whole

I'm unhappy. This summer didn't feel like a summer. We never even made time to go scope out a wedding venue. This autumn is already fully booked. This year probably won't afford us time to go to the orchard. And work is swallowing me whole. Need to change something. Need to figure out what is within my control. I will probably delete this tomorrow.

Needs blinders

I think I have A.D.D.

1750 is Claimed

Apartment's rented. Hooray! We're happy it's going to our friend Rudy.
Now to get rid of all the furniture that's in it. Stand by for our virtual yard sale.

Need a cheap apartment?

We're trying to find a renter to take over our apartment. It's too good of a deal to just sick craigslist on it before first offering it to our friends, so:



More pictures here <-----

Specs:
- $800 +$50 for the garage
- 1750 Augusta @ Wood
- Available Nov 1st but you'd probably be able to start moving in a week or so before that.
- close to Division blue line stop
- equally close to Chicago bus
- close to I-94
- cat & dog friendly. Probably not for multiple dogs though. That would be pushing it.
- Building has 4 new coin operated commercial washers & 4 new dryers in the basement.

This place is best suited for a couple or a single person. Not really for 2 single people because the bathroom is attached to the larger bedroom, creating kind of a master suite, which has been awesome. 2nd bedroom becomes a guest bedroom / office. It's been really terrific for us for the past four years, but we've bought a place of our own. The landlords have been great and responsive over the years, so we're trying to help them find someone respectful & responsible to take our spot.

Also, if you're interested we'll leave:
- 2 window air conditioners
- the big bamboo rug
- dining room table & chairs
- the ikea wardrobe in the kitchen (it's kind of perfect for the spot it's in)
- all the curtains & blinds
- the spider plant that hangs in the living room (it's just real happy there)
- probably some other things, come to think of it

We'll be posting it on Craigslist Sept 15th and we expect it'll go pretty quickly, so if you or someone you know might be interested let us know asap & you can swing by to take a look at it. Thanks!

Hot dog

Hot dog.

Even with air conditioning. I wonder what dogs must think of days like this. Do they possibly think that we might have something to do with the temperature? Like maybe mom's chosen to make this a heat wave? I mean, afterall, dogs probably realize humans have the ability to make the environment loud or quiet by will, light or dark by will...

oh! zach's home!!

Claiming my half right down the middle

Here's the bed when Z is away. A little nest of books, magazines, computers & a totally immodest poodle. I sleep on his side when he's gone.

Need a kick

Woke up feeling kind of grumpy today. Z is away in Kalamazoo with his momma. But instead of using this gift of isolation to plow through our belongings and purge to reduce clutter & surprise daddy, dog and I have opted to lay in bed all morning. I mean, I guess it's only 10:00 still, but we're not feeling the smallest iota of inspiration. Come on come on come on....

Thank you, train

So bizzy. forgot to eat lunch today. but the train home is better. a place to sit still.

overheard on train as I wrote:
"You see his baby yet? Yeah I'm the godfather. ...What's that mean?"

Anyhow, dog and I are having a girls night tonight. What should we do?

pre-buyer's remorse

Getting bummed about this place. I don't want to end up paying Wicker Park prices for a Noble Square condo.
So tired. So bummed.

fragile

I have a summer cold. On Saturday morning I mistook it for a little hangover. But now it's Tuesday and I'm still feeling like my bones are made of a coral reef. All brittle and jagged-like. Sleeping under a tree sounds so much more ideal than sitting at a desk with no windows today.

Why I hate Critical Mass

Critical Mass has frustrated me for a long time. On the last Friday of every month I watch hordes of bicyclists ride through the city streets in numbers so vast as to block traffic for miles. While the initial concept is brilliant and the message is commendable, the participants are totally sabotaging their own message, and this is the reason I've always refused to participate.

As I stand on the sidelines each month and watch as cyclists ride by, flipping us off and doing wheelies, passive aggressively wishing us a happy Friday, I just want to hang my head. Never do I see anyone passing out fliers, or chanting or even hollering anything with the phrase "critical mass" or "bicycle awareness."

I listen like a fly on a wall to the bystanders and folks stuck in traffic, and NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING. I hear people say things like "this must be some kind of club." Or "is this a parade?"

After they've all passed and traffic resumes its normal patterns people aren't left with the thought "Wow, there are a lot of bicyclists in the city. I should be more careful to watch for them and share the road." Nonono. Instead we all think, "Wow bicyclists sure are a pompous and rude group. If I had my way I'd run a couple of them over."

Honestly, how difficult would it be to pass out quarter page fliers explaining the movement, asking drivers to be more aware of cyclists, explain some bicycle laws, state some statistics on bike accidents.... Want me to put that together for you? Because I could. Really easily. Anyone could.

Now, I'm sure there are a handful we didn't see, but of the hundreds of people riding down Division street last night we saw ONE man toward the end of the ride, leaning into car windows to thank people for their patience & offering them baked goods. ?? Whatever. At least it was something.

It just frustrates me to no end that people have created this massive and powerful movement - A way to capture the attention of almost an entire city and broadcast what I think is a VERY important message, and they continue to squander this opportunity each and every month. And in multiple cities, apparently.

My point is that there needs to be more of an effort to communicate. You've got our attention. Now what? Have you forgotten what you're riding for, or do you just care more about causing a scene? To me it's a blatant example of the way Americans have forgotten how to effectively demonstrate because we've been so passive and/or contented for so long.

This really really bums me out. I hope someone can step in and redirect it before it's too late.

Which brings me to this, which I think is kind of excellent: Critical Manners

a minute to take it all in

My neighbor below is burning nag champa and it's floating up from her open window into ours. It's reminding me of the year I lived with the other andrea, the blue one, in that tiny dorm room. I like that. It's ridiculous that she lives in this city and I haven't yet seen her. Why don't I make time for these things?

Today Zach and I brought a pizza and our picnic blanket to the big park by our new house for dinner. We watched some dogs chase frisbees and some babies chase dogs.

Around 7:30, just before dusk, tons of seemingly little drunk birds started flying out from the top of the field house and fluttering about over the open field. After a while of watching, we were pretty sure they're not birds, but little bats, rather, coming out to catch their nightly bug dinners. Just like all those bats that fly out from under the bridge in Austin, TX in that huge spectacle every night. But much fewer.

Have I ever mentioned how much I like bats?

^v^

I bet they do this every evening. I can't wait to go back and watch for them.

I also noticed the clock tower (which you can hear from our new place when the windows are open) strikes every quarter hour. I am very excited about this. I can't wait to lay in bed half awake in the mornings and let the clock remind me that the day is ticking away. As long as I've lived in the city I've wanted to be by one of these clock towers.

But now, back in our little apartment, it's a quarter to midnight and we've laid out the aerobed to do a "camping night" in our living room. It's fun. Our house is trashed. It's an effort to pull out and purge the things we don't need before moving. Sleeping on a mattress in the middle of the living room floor kind of just goes with the chaos that is currently home.

redecorating

New wallpaper. Fun.

Man I'm so happy it's Friday. Weekends are so very important right now.

"someday we'll have our own"

We're still not out of atty review and the deal is pending some deck estimates and negotiation and ....sigh.. I hope I'm not jinxing us, but today we took our first official visit to Menards as pending homeowners. So exciting! I cannot wait to put this pretty door on the exit off the back! What color should we paint it?



I do think I might get a little over excited about doors. But honestly, I think a house can be great but if it has an ugly door, forget it. For so long I have wanted a pretty door on my house. I will be so happy to just put that door up and hang out on the couch and look at it for weeks. No other improvements will be necessary to make me happy.

Life is kind of off the hook right now. It'd take a lot of writing to lay it all out, and I've really not been in the mood, to tell you the truth. But here's one big thing:

We've bought a place!! We're still in Attorney's review & need to go through the inspection this week, and so we're not out of the woods just yet but we've bought a place!!!

We don't move until October 15, which is going to feel like eons, but we did this intentionally so that we can focus our attentions on some other, more important life matters over the upcoming weeks & months.

I'm fighting the buyer's remorse but honestly it isn't as bad as I'd expect it to be. After scouring the real estate listings & dragging our patient realtor around for eleven months, we're both very sure of this place. Let me tell you how weird it is to stand in the middle of someone else's bedroom and look at your dude and your realtor and "just know"... and know that they "just know" as well. This is it!

Let me tell you how good it feels to see Zach do a little dance about the back deck. Let me tell you how good it feels to know I'm not going into this alone.

This morning I was sorting files on my computer and found our list of must haves & nice to haves that we'd made out last November:

A LIST:
2 bedroom or possibility to convert to 2 bd
Parking
Sunlight
At least one bedroom big enough to able to walk around the bed (i.e 10ft or bigger)
Laundry or potential for laundry in unit


B LIST:
Little outdoor space
Trees outside
1.5 bath
Decent sized bathroom

& I guess the only thing we gave up is the trees.

Here's a picture of one end of that deck:






My own place to grow tomatoes!!!

Adding to my things to do before I die. Why I forgot about this I'm not sure:
Own a piano. A real, organic, non-portable piano. In a detached home.

So excited to go back to Michigan next weekend and play on a ski doo. We-heeeewww!

Spent the morning sewing. = bliss.
Dog does not like fireworks. Worse than last year.

Guitar lessons start on Wednesday! I'm nervous! I'm a nerd!

After playing for 13+ years, I just kind of put down the guitar. Not sure why. Life just got busy in different ways. It's been almost five years since then, and now when I pick up a guitar I just kind of stare at it.

But today I took the plunge and called a number on a flyer about guitar lessons. I'm nervous and essited. I've never been "formally" taught before. Maybe he'll make me do wacky exercises like scales and ugh theory.

I wonder if, as a grownup, I'll actually practice between music lessons. I never practiced piano. Or flute. Or organ.

It was a pretty flyer.

I hope he calls me back.

I awoke from a nightmare at 4am in which I was being chased by a bad government. I couldn't believe the dogs they were using could betray me.

Now I'm still laying here awake. I've got no real choice but to get on the sunrise express train. It's going to be a long day.

Giant pizza. Naoko visit. Dog slumber party. Waynes World. Flight 666. No work tomorrow. Yesss.

Nope. Mudhoney absolutely does not translate on youtube. The sound of a Superfuzz Big Muff doesn't make its way though the microphones on cameras in tact. Bummer dude. But I'm glad I remember the lyrics to Hate the Police.

Looks like it's going to be very rainy and warm next week. That would be excellent for my garden.

If I had a garden.

Maybe by this time next year I'll have a wooden deck and a garden in pots. Maybe I can buy one of those amazing hanging tomato growing stockings off television.

I have so many things to look forward to.

I just bought myself a bottle of Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle on ebay for a steep discount. But it's sealed, so I still get the pleasure of breaking the cellophane off the box and the little wax glob from the knot on the bottle. A big percentage of any good cosmetic experience is really the packaging. This I believe. And I'm so excited about this little pictoral a woman made on the way they seal the bottles:

Here. Yay!

Being a non smoker is pretty great. You can smell things.

Most of the time it's great. In the case of Coco Mademoiselle it's great.

It's not great when your DOG POOPS ON THE COUCH while you're out. Our apartment stinks and the dog is grounded. This could have been prime cuddling time tonight and she had to go and ruin it.

Mad.

Allo. Happy Saturday.

Today was spring shave down day for our little lamb. This morning I dropped her off at the groomer.



And went for a walk around the neighborhood. I stopped at the last ever homo yardsale. Got some good cds. Mostly old Cure and REM that I've only had on cassette until now. There was also tons of Madonna, if anyone's in the market.



Then I went to the bank to get some rolls of quarters for laundry, but that's not worth a picture.

Flower shop. I like these white things on sticks. Dogwood. I think I'd like to use those for our wedding. We like sticks. Sticks with flowers are even better. Dogwoods. I wonder if they're seasonal.



Also taking a lot of pictures of dormers. Shed dormers, cape cod dormers, triplet dormers... There is a house we want to buy, but only if it's possible to add dormers to the roof. Considering every house like it in the neighborhood seems to have had dormers added to the roof at some point, I'm thinking it's GOT to be possible, and probably not too outlandish in costs, as so many others before us have gone this route.



Oui?



Non? That one seems like an incredibly stupid idea. Why make three?

This kind seems to make the most sense, and is what I'd like to ask the architect about:



No bumping heads with a shed dormer like that, right? Hopefully the answers come quickly and easily.

By day's end, dog was 10lbs lighter & is real happy to be back on mah bed:



How cute is that thing? Really!

Check it out. Blog facelift. Doesn't it make you feel like you're witnessing something organic? How novel, right?

Man I really want a new house to paint & make curtains for. HTML modification alone doesn't cut it for me.

Ugh. Today felt like a disaster. I do not remember how to handle a hangover. But hey, Friday night was great fun.

Here are some ducks at that great grocery store in Milford.

Happy 2nd anniversary to my car and me! Today I worked late, but when I came out there was Paco, alone in the parking lot, waiting for me with a big rainbow. Yay.

Man I've really gotten lazy on the blog front, right?

I guess I can't seem to focus on one thing long enough to make an entire paragraph on a subject lately. So hm. Let's just go stream of consciousness, shall we?

michigan ave
We spent our afternoon at the Genius Bar. The battery on my 1 yr old mac book crapped out this week. Fortunately they gave me a brand new battery. Thank goodness for apple care. I had mixed emotions about hanging out in the apple store that long and not finding anything I wished I could buy. Good in the sense that I've gotten over any sort of "gotta have it" bug most people suffer from, and kind of bummed in the sense that hanging out in the apple store was boring. I felt like an 8 year old boy waiting for his mom to try on clothes in a department store. There weren't even any racks to hide in. Wanted to leave.

playing dress up
Oh here's something that wasn't boring: Last weekend my mom and I went out together to try on princess dresses. Even though we're going to try to make our own wedding dress, trying them on is like a rite of passage. You're absolutely not allowed to do it until you've got a ring. So yeah, I had fun with all the strange girdles and under things that go under the fancy dresses. And I liked standing on the little pedestal at the bridal salon. Fun to put on a veil too, even if it made me feel like I was dressing up for a first communion more than a wedding. I'm pretty happy with myself for preferring a $200 dress over an $1100 dress. To me I think the biggest difference between the expensive & inexpensive dresses is amount of fabric & overall weight. I swear you could probably sleep outside in a snowstorm in one of the expensive ones I tried on. Here is one that I liked but will not be buying:



Something like this would require a $40,000 wedding to go with. I think. Oh but pickups are so fun! They make the dresses look like cakes!

Anyhow, yeah, the dress we make will not look like a cake, and will not make dudes feel stupid if they decide not to wear a tie to our wedding. At least that's my hope.

pizza
Man I ate too much pizza today. Ugh.

homework before video games
I'd really like to get myself moving on grad school but I'm not sure which one I'd like to go to and frankly everything else seems like so much more fun than studying for the GMAT right now. While I know that if I want to get it over with before I start thinking about having or adopting a baby, I'm still finding it to be so much more fun to play video games. I got Sims Pets. Oh man. So much trouble.

tadpole
Speaking of babies, Whisper got us this little gift for us which she was going to give us as a wedding present. But knowing that our wedding is still 1.5 yrs away, she didn't trust herself not to lose the gift and gave it to us early. Here it is (they are) on Fannie, who is sitting in for future babies in this photo:



all thumbs
We Netflixed the 2003 adaptation of "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" and watched half of it last night. Man is it ever a crappy film. I have a hard time sitting through movies as it is, but this one.. geez. Painful. I don't think we'll be watching the rest of it.

the hard way
I guess it's earth hour right now. Zach is giving the dog a bath in the dark. I also guess that means I shouldn't be on the computer. dang it.

We bought the ugliest curtains at World Market this weekend.



And I am so excited about them. I'm sure my mom would hate them because they look like something from her childhood. Some day when our kids are into airbrushing and pastels or decorating with geese and amish dolls the sentiment will be returned.



I realize we're decorating this place and making it more cozy each week when we're actually looking to leave it, but why sit and wait when you can keep making life nicer?

I'm so anxious waiting for this snowstorm. As if it were Santa. It's 1:00am and I'm still getting up out of bed to peek out the window. I'm just really in the mood for a snowstorm and the idea of a Saturday off in which to go out in the snow just sounds good. I'd much rather my winters be covered in snow than just run on and on as a dry, cracked and frozen tundra.

Snow covers dirt and provides a uniform appearance. Snow makes it look as cold outside as it feels. And makes dogs happy. And driving fun. Among other things.

Also, I would like a pet rat who shares my fondness for stuffies and sleeping in:



Really. This picture is so cute I could just kiss my computer screen.

I feel sad but not sure why. This is ridiculous. Do I need a real crisis in order to fully appreciate the fact that my life is golden? There is nothing wrong! Sure it's winter, and I spend more time commuting than I do at home, and ugh. I want a vacation. Or a mental health day at the very least.

Or a sun lamp.

Chillin on the couch with a freshly shaved poodle. Killing some time before I need to head to the airport for glamorous business trip to canandaigua, NY. If I had faith in my ability to wake up in the morning I could fly out at 6am tomorrow. But I don't. So my weekend at home ends at 4pm today. Looking forward to Hampton Inn bedding. They've got the best sheets ever.

Feeling a little sad that Zach and I are disagreeing on a house we looked at today. Foreclosed houses are sad. It's hard to look past dirt and ghosts sometimes.

Today is beautiful. Melting glaciers and thawing dog poo and mud. I should be running errands. I should be getting my oil changed. I should be taking my doggie to get a hair cut. I should be cleaning our house.

But the window is open and the fresh air is making me so

sleeepy...

c c c c ccold

that's all. Anyone got suggestions for an inexpensive beach stint? Let me clarify - someplace warm.

only month one

Depressed. So sick of winter. So sick of the recession. Need to stop reading the news. Need to go to the conservatory this weekend to sit in the tropical room and pretend I'm on vacation.

I know I'm not facing any real troubles, but I do wish we had heat in our bathroom. Waaah waaah waaaah.....

So it took a month but my arm is better. I guess that means I have to start going back to the gym now.

T Rex Arms

Also, my shoulder hurts. It's a sharp pain when ever I reach up for anything and a dull ache the rest of the time. It's on about week 2 now, and doesn't seem to be getting better. I do know that it started in my sleep one night when I had laid and stared at the ceiling until 5am. My coworker says it sounds like my arm came out of socket. That's some violent sleeping, right? I have a feeling I need to stop reaching up for things in order for it to get any better, but because I'm 5'2" that's not really easy. Everything is up high. Everything. I could maybe tie my arm to my body at the elbow to stabilize it, leaving me with a little T-rex arm, but people at work would think I'm weird. God.

Oh wait, this is great. I just google image searched "t rex arms":

GOOD
BETTER
BEST

update: BEST has been fixed. They can't fool me.

Who has time for a wedding?

Thinking we have to push our wedding thing out another year or so. Not that we *have* to, but it's probably a good idea. The next year is just so uncertain. If I get into grad school, class would be every weekend for two years straight, with a break for xmas and a break for some other holiday. That would mean we either have to hurry this up and get it done before next September when school would start, or we wait and fit it in to that "other holiday" break.

So, I don't know. Try and find a place and whip it together and make our friends all fly back from New York City to Michigan every other weekend for weddings at the end of this summer? Or just kind of put it off for a while until we know when that "other holiday" break would be from school?

If I even get into school.

I'm feeling a little frustrated with the not knowing when. We're trying to plan the simplest wedding possible, but it's already a hassle.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, ZOOMER!

Time at home

I made it through Monday.
It wasn't a good day.
A lot went wrong.
But I'm home now.
And the dog was a good girl all alone all day.

Saturday 11:45pm. Approximately what... 29 hours left?

I'm really irritated with the news in Gaza.

Sometimes I wish I were less sensitive. Life would be easier. But then what kind of person would I be?

In happier news, I swear my friends have made the cutest baby:



Serious?

4:15pm Saturday. Approximately 37 hours left of vacation.

Z and I have been sick for days. Sick sick. The kind of sick that sticks you to the couch. Or the bed. Or the floor. I started this week off with a mile long list of things I was so excited to do. Now I'm running through the list and picking out things that can be done in a stationary position and in short bursts.

But I'm not feeling sorry for myself. At least not too much.
Resolution: Check my attitude. Continually.

Too bad I can't enforce that one on the dog. We have raised a naughty dog. She has a bad attitude about us leaving the house and is very lucky that we aren't the type to spank her. Yet. God help her when I get a web cam and a robotic fly swatter, for she is a bad dog.