Friday, August 29, 2008

Can someone please please redo this but pair it with the original hamsterdance song? Please!

It won't stop being funny!
Stop the presses. I actually just stopped working for a good half hour so I could read up on Sara Palin. I'm feeling mildly insulted by our general election politics. Here are some choice quotes from message boards of the past hour:

"According to Wikipedia she eats moose burgers."

"Twenty bucks says Lorne Michaels gets Tina Fey to play her on SNL. It's uncanny!"

"I'm looking at him right now, and I see perfection," Palin said. "Yeah, he has an extra chromosome. I keep thinking, in our world, what is normal and what is perfect?"
"Thank God he's not gay, amirite?" she added.

Biden is gonna have to work to win my interest after making a sports joke at the beginning of his speech last night. Really? I get enough of that in the real world.

Oh beauuuutiful for pilgrim's feet....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Gosh I just realized my blog is all babies lately. I swear to you I'm not all baby crazy. They just seem to be around. I still have plans. I still need to get to six flags and the grand canyon and that teepee motel on route 66.

Look at this picture of my friend's baby. There's a whole gallery of him and I'm laughing out loud he's so freaking cute. This is what you get when you cross a korean and a blonde girl, folks. : )

Monday, August 25, 2008

Today was very autumnal. But otherwise I can't really think of much. Walked through the day like a zombie. A bit hungover from the fresh airs, perhaps. More sleep might do me good. I'm feeling like I should be feeling more these days.

And my sentences are all out of order.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I had a dream last night that Prince was on Project Runway. And they had to make an outfit for him. But Prince was a very tiny ladyboy in the dream. As off the wall as this all seems, I suppose it's not all that far fetched.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

2.5 more hours today. I'm so antsy to

I've been forgetting to post photos. The babies have moved here to Chicago, and Z has been testing out his camera. Here are my favorites:

This baby is stupid cute:

So is this one:

And this one:

Poor Fan. We found out she has a severe latex allergy after doctor Lia put a band-aid on her bare buns. Hence the lampshade.

And this... this picture was just taken because I liked the way the stripes on the paper folded together on the small box. Pretty presents are nice. Happy birthday Erica!

And this is a mischevious squirrel puss:

The rest of the photos are over here <---

Ew. Why is blogger making the photos all pixely when it resizes them? Barf! Like I have time to resize these things myself. But apparently if you want things done right you have to do it yourself.... waah waah waahh waah

Monday, August 18, 2008

Ladies and gentlemen, something to ease your mondays:

----> My favorite Onion article ever. <----

Puff puff!

Friday, August 15, 2008

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!! I can really tear it up sometimes!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I have to give a presentation tomorrow at the very end of the day. 4-5pm on a Friday. No one is going to want to be there. Including me. The presentation is for my boss, my boss' boss, and my boss' boss' boss. The premise of the presentation is essentially "What have you been doing since we hired you in April." I haven't been given much more to work off of other than that.

So I just finished a draft of my powerpoint presentation. I've filled it with statistics and cost savings and my proposals for process improvements. I dunno. Zach glazed over a little when I did a slide show for him. We're not allowed to use anything other than the company standard powerpoint format. It's blue on white with a logo. No beautiful gradients or transitions to distract you or even keep you awake for that matter.

Surprisingly, I'm not all that noivous. Admittedly I've got a few stumbling blocks that I kind of hope to breeze over, but... Maybe I should get all those ironed out before 4. How hard could it be to think straight for just a few hours longer?

I'm developing deep dark circles under mine eyes. Poop. No one wants to stand before their great grand boss looking like a meth addict.

Still, I don't know that I could really say I miss the days of spending hours surfing the web to fill my time.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

To make matters worse, both of my shoes have started making realistic fart noises with each step I take.
I am so inordinately crabby this morning. The girl next to me is crunching loudly and people are asking me for things. UGH. For the love of God, is that necessary? You really need things from me?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I got a tetanus shot yesterday at my physical and now I feel like some flu bugs got on there with the needle. Meh. I'm going to bed early. The weather is beautiful tonight and there's a window open right over our bed. It's starting to feel like autumn already.

With my luck I'll wake up tomorrow with a stiff neck AND a sore bicep.

Remember the episode of the Simpsons when Bart got a tattoo?
"Ow" "Quit it" "Ow" "Quit it" "Ow" "Quit it"

Friday, August 8, 2008

It's kind of fun to write the date on things today.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

squaw piss

Greetings from Chippewa Falls Wisconsin. I'm in a plant with no windows and my body doesn't know whether it's 5am or 5pm. People talk about the Green Bay Packers a whole lot up here. They also use the words "gosh" and "darn". Tomorrow I might get to go on a brewery tour before we head home.

I really really really want to complain about how exhausted I am, and how much administrative crap work I have to do tonight, and how I'm skipping dinner to do so, and how just totally wack wrong the world has been going lately.

But I won't.

Instead I'll tell you that if I finish my work before 11 tonight, I'm going swimming in the hotel pool.

And skipping dinner isn't all that bad, as I've been eating nothing but junk and animal parts for days and a fast could really make me feel better.

Is Mercury in retrograde, by chance?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I love it when they have the same soup in the cafeteria two days in a row. That is how soup is supposed to be eaten. Over time.

I feel like poo because of allergies. Fannie is feeling worse because of allergies. Fortuntately she doesn't have many responsibilities.

Monday, August 4, 2008

well dang

This is my first night alone in the apartment in years. Literally. And I started the night not knowing what to do with myself. I took a shower. Did my hair for no reason. Did my toes. Gave the dog half a haircut.

And then it started storming. Like serious storming. Wind was pushing on all of the closed doors like big scary men trying to get in at us. And the dog went in circles with her tail between her legs. And the storm sirens were going off. And then it started to to pour. Torrentially. I mean, my computer was laying five feet from an open window for thirty seconds and had to be toweled off. Now my space bar is sticking.

So yeah. Lots of rain, and circling dog, storm sirens, car alarms. And I can't get a single radio in the house to pick up AM stations. But from the cable that kept going in and out we were able to see that the tornado was up in Rogers Park.... and then we were able to find out when we were safe. It's a good thing we dodged it because the dog and I couldn't find our basement keys.

God. And to think I was worried about a spider showing up in the apartment while Zach was away.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

We're babysitting. This is the easy part because they're in bed. Today we taught them about the wonders of pizza, and Babe, and Woody Guthrie and glitter nail polish and gumby. I also taught Lia how to make a letter A. This means she can now write her own name. It might take some more practice, because more often than not they come out as H. But overall she seemed pretty pleased.

Here is a story she wrote on my laptop today:

ouuiihgugufuyryeuerutyt767685556769ollkjjhhgfdasa4trryuioop[teeww4ewrsdxzzty6yyyw8w8w8w8w8w7wwwjouuuixucvvvvbzsay7ss4ytfgmgryuy5errr8u3heyeyeyeyeyeyyeyeeyyyywywywgwhbbcbvvn,cmmcnmlfyyteswee5reeszxcvbb335werrekmbn6eyytrer766r4rrtyy7ywwwitittititi86i55i6i686ijghjjfjdhdherk58i9y96ruruttutirirut6i668y8turururueuttttttyuijiiugbh nmmjkkllkkjjjyyytrrfghjjklllllllhjhhgfffddsaerttpoiuyytrrewqasdfghjkk;;'zxcvfvg66eeeeee45ewqwerrttt5r4833737363673383837737337yeygfhhdvdbddvccvxcxxsdtwteeteteteetetete3trreedddawwdasdfghjklkl-0987776666655544443332211qqwweeerrtttttyyyuuuiiopp,,mmjuu77666hhhdewiooiujueeeereqqee5r66tttgyqqzzzzxxxcccvvvbbnmm,..//ttcr79888789uu9o[ihi900000000000000000000000;iii99h,,rr33334343343434343436w55ww55555ww5w5w5w5w5w5w5

Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm wearing an actual dress at work today and I feel like I'm in Mad Men.
Also, ladies, hear this: Old timey full slips are the new Spanx. So much more comfortable. We need not torture ourselves. At least not all the time.