Monday, July 30, 2007


Well poop. All that preparation and she didn't show. Ah but yes, I know, important people such as her have busy schedules. Another time.

Instead we had a quiet weekend. Uneventful. Saw fake Don Cab. Saw some friends. Took some naps.

In other news, I just asked for my first raise in my life. Not that I haven't received raises, but I've never asked for one. And oh it was a whopper I just asked for. And oh was it ever uncomfortable. I'll keep you posted, of course, as to what shakes out. Around these parts it could likely take a few months to even see a response.

Truth: One of the big reasons women still don't make as much money as men is that we've learned that self-promotion is bad. Unladylike, for sure. Right now I feel like I just traipsed across all the desks here, shaking my ass & singing the vocal parts the women sang in the studio on Rock of Love. Or worse. Although I swear I put it more eloquently.

Fingers crossed.

Now I need to go work like I deserve the raise.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

lia ahnana

Been scrubbing, cleaning, dusting... Got to go shopping tonight for things like nanas and whole milk, because we have a very special guest staying with us this weekend.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

keeping busy

Even if with a whole lot of nothing. This morning at breakfast I made a to-do list on my my placemat.

I'd never been to Berwyn before and so we went on a field trip. All I knew of Berwyn is that it has those cars on a stick that, if memory serves me, were shown for a split sec in Waynes World. And I thought maybe Svengoolie came from Berwyn, but I still don't know.

It's probably got all that and then some but one Sunday isn't enough to fully understand, I'm sure. We spent the morning going in and out of open houses (big old houses with amazing & swanky basements that haven't been touched since 63) sort of half pretending we were shopping.

It's a real sleepy & pleasant place, that Berwyn. To my surprise. If not full of heshers. It's nice to know that if it's your thing, you can actually afford to own a n octoganal front bungalow with a swanky basement that hasn't been touched since 63, on a quiet & well-kept street. Only 15 minutes from our current neighborhood.

And duh, cars on a stick! Totally made my day.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

We're going to alice & friends

We're going to alice & friends
We;re going to alice & friends
we're going to alice & friends

Monday, July 16, 2007

maybe it means i get more out of living

Maybe I've mentioned it before. It's fun from time to time, but it's really starting to drive me nuts. I dream all night, every night. This year it's gotten to the point where I sometimes confuse my dreams with reality if the dreams are tame enough. It's manageable now, but if it were to get any worse I might end up committing myself. Have you ever heard of any related disorders?


I realize no one ever cares to hear about any one elses dreams, but just to illustrate what I'm going through, here are my last couple nights in order. No exaggeration. In fact I'm sure there was more that I've since forgotten.


Thursday July 12

Phase 1 – I’m at a carnival of some sort. I have a long, loosely knit dark purple scarf. The winter kind. It’s fun to play with. Then I’m riding up to the top of a ride. Something like a roller coaster. It’s jolted and I start to free fall.

Phase 2 – I’m riding to a sold out concert in a van with strangers. Somehow I know we’re privileged & will be getting in. We arrive in a gymnasium fit for an elementary school. We stay strapped in to the bench seats of the van as they’re removed from the van and roll us up to the stage. The bench seats become the “front row.” I feel awkward and restricted.

My analysis: When I wake up I mourn the fact that the purple scarf wasn’t real. No idea about anything else. This dream was stupid.

Friday July 13

Phase 1 - Hanging out with Janess Vartanian. Childhood friend, family friend. It must be back in time. Their house is next to the Dufour’s, which in my dream some how lead me to think “It all makes sense now.” Don’t ask me what makes sense. It doesn’t make sense. Anyhow the two houses share a yard. There are a lot of cars sitting around. A lot of works in progress. I feel pretty happy. Home again. Although this combination of things never really existed in my waking life.

Phase 2 – Here’s Clare again. She’s in my dreams more often than anyone else. Childhood bff. She’s somehow fallen off the face of the earth. No idea where she is. Anyhow, in this dream I meet up with her. She’s living in the house her parents lived in when we were young. She has a baby. She’s married. I feel really upset and cheated because I wasn’t around to witness her wedding, and didn’t get to see her pregnant, or as a brand new mom, figuring it all out. She’s gained weight and as much as I strain when staring at her face, it doesn’t look like Clare to me. I feel frustrated.

My analysis: This dream is pretty realistic, though I don’t know that Clare would ever gain weight. I often feel like when I left “home” it was for good. The day I moved to college, my parents moved out of the house & town I grew up in, and there began my systematic severing of all ties. I move on, I make menial efforts to stay in contact, I lose touch, and then I feel cheated when people forget about me.

Saturday July 14

My memory is really limited on this one since I didn’t write anything down. I do remember inventing snacks for whales, however. Whale snacks. They came in a box like milk bones. It was very exciting because until now, whales haven’t had snacks. They’ll be so appreciative. I’m so excited I wake up and tell Zach about it in half sleep.

Sunday July 15

Phase 1 – I’m driving to school and realize I forgot to put make up on, and so I turn around to head back home even though I know I’ll be late. I’m driving through a suburban neighborhood. Can’t see over the dash board very well.

Phase 2 – I’m suddenly pushing a lawn mower up a steep & slippery hill. I notice some steps cut into the hill. Duh, that would be a lot easier. The steps veer off to a house.

Phase 3 – I’m in the house. No one is home. I’m not supposed to be there. This happens all the time in my dreams. I see two little boys & follow them through some “secret doors”. Something like Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. We enter a room. It’s not Narnia. It’s just a plain old empty room. One of the boys if playing with a superball and I try to hush him. The bouncing on the floor will let the owner of the house know we’re up here. To no avail. An adult comes in and is angry. (Dang this is going nowhere).

Phase 4 – Boss’s boss is assigning a new project to me for work. It’s a new, creative gum packaging. (I thought I got away from this?) I’m supposed to get the project started and hand it off to one of the newer employees. He’s sitting and communicating too close for my comfort. This isn’t realistic.

Phase 5 – I’m back in the secret room the little boys led me to. The girl from the Exorcist is there. Apparently this new work assignment involves working in the same room as her. She’s strapped to her bed, but it’s still really distracting, especially since she can make the bed levitate. I worry that she’ll come over into my space while I’m looking down at my work, which is spread out over the floor. I keep thinking “I hope she doesn’t spit that STUFF on me.”

Phase 6 – I’m laying in a bed. In the same room. Her demons are swirling around. I’m using all my willpower to fend them off, but some slips into my mouth in a liquid form. Then I realize I’m just in my own bed, in my own room, sleeping with my mouth open. Just great.

My analysis: I’m totally crazy and I’m sort of sick of dreaming. My life is becoming scarily like Science of Sleep and while it’s fun to know my imagination is still working, I feel like I’m losing control.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


We discovered an asian supermarket with entire aisles of faux meat products, frozen steamed dumplings, dehydrated rice cakes (which I'm not sure how to prepare). I feel like we've uncovered a gold mine.

Actually, dang, we discovered a lot about Chicago this weekend that we'd never seen before.

I'd like to learn to cook with cabbage & radishes. Not necessarily together, but, you know. Have any recipes?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I am not making enough things

And this is perceived to be a problem. By me.

Perhaps, in that sense, it's a good thing that my computer is slow moving, overloaded and crotchety. Maybe this inhibits me from spending hours on end playing with it at night. Or perhaps it just slows me down. Limits my productivity.

Anne and I talked tonight about feeling overwhelmed and caught up in the web of obligations. Resenting full calendars and taking it out on technology and estrogen and our innocently bystanding dudes.... and then we wondered, "What happens when we're moms?" When our time is never our own.

And for a minute we felt sorry for ourselves.

But the truth is, the more you do, the more you can do.

Maybe this is why I'm not doing enough. Because, duh, I'm not doing enough.

I'd hire her. *wink wink*

We have an intern working here this summer who looks just like Francoise Hardy and the boys are all a flutter. It's funny to listen to them talk.

"She's a ten."
"Dude, she's twenty one."
"Ehem, and she's got a ring on her finger."

It does breathe a little life into the building.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


So bizzy! I owe you some pictures. I owe some people phone calls. I owe some people some estimated shipping cost savings. I owe promontory point at least an annual visit.

I owe I owe. There's always tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

dusty magazines, sweet photos, bad web design

dusty magazines:
Inevitably, I failed my own experiment when a yard sale next to our demo derby meetup location was selling Life magazines from the late sixties for $1 each. Technically Zach gave me the two dollars but I made the purchase.

Please don't confront me with my failures. I had not forgotten them.

In bettah news....

sweet photos:
Our June calendar piggie was adorable. For any of you who did not make it by this month to see (ehem, that would be ALL OF YOU):

bad web design:
Tomorrow morning we're heading off to the Michigan to visit family, drop off the dogg & have a mini vacation in Saugatuck. We're staying at this place.

A boutique lodging experience with retro charm, a 1940/50's style motorlodge located in the heart of the villages of Saugatuck/Douglas.

Fun. A motorlodge just like the one in Psycho!

Ok. Back to work so's I can get out of here...