Thursday, February 3, 2011


Cannot stop crying. For every success story I read, I find 3 stories of terrible manifestations that play themselves out over the course of years and end with the death of the animal.

I can't believe this hasn't even been a week. I have to figure out how to be fully informed but not allow myself to be absorbed by this. It's so incredibly hard because the disease requires that you observe observe observe for every little fluctuation in her behavior.

I want to know what to expect. I'm terrified that this will drag on and on and fannie will spend more days feeling awful than feeling good. I'm worried that I will make the wrong decisions and try to prolong her life when it isn't worth living.

Anyhow, that doom and gloom aside, here's an update: This morning fannie couldn't hold it and she had an accident on the rug. This is expected. The medicines are going to make her have to pee constantly. Since she's too weak to get around much, I've been bringing her up and down the 3 flights of stairs with a small carrier that the neighbor lent us. It's been a lifesaver. As soon as we're able to get to a store I'm going to need to invest in one of these so that I can return this one.

A minute ago when I brought her upstairs I set the carrier down, unzipped it, and she just sat there for a few minutes, not wanting to stand up to walk out.

We have our next vet appointment at 4:20 today to check her blood levels. Good news would be that her levels have not dropped below 16. Anything lower than 15 would be stressful. Anything at about 13 or lower will probably mean she goes back to the hospital for another transfusion and has to be away from us for another couple days which is really hard on her. Based on the fact that the medicines haven't had much time to start working, and the rate at which her levels dropped from Saturday to Monday, I really expect her to have to go back for another transfusion soon.

I'm trying to mentally psyche myself up for the trek to the vet's office in a few hours.

Here is a picture of the front of our house yesterday morning. As of now, the street still hasn't been plowed and the city has no plans to clear our alley where our car is trapped.

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