Friday, January 4, 2008

Way past my bedtime

Up late. Again. Thinking thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing. Excited about all the possibilities the next few years can bring. Or the next few weeks even. And entirely aware that everything could just as easily go all wrong.

Jobs are a funny thing. Define so much of our lives as much as we want to deny it. The people I work with - they're my sphere. We feel the same frustrations. And it's not even for the fact that the common enemy is the strongest unifier - they're my buddies, no doubt.

And so... decisions. Sometimes they keep me up at night.

Of course, sometimes thinking about things like the White Hen/7 Eleven merger keep me up way late at night too. I guess I pretty much always have this problem.

I know what's important to me. It's not money. It's people. I only wish I knew how fleeting the people qualities I seek may or may not be.

Also, you know, having a little family - meaning my Zach and my poodle... It really does make you more vulnerable in a sense. Loving things that much. I have more to lay awake and worry about. Because there's so much more that can be taken from me now than before they came along. This thing I'm describing has been covered many times in the past by writers and sailors and military dudes I'm sure, but I can't remember a single reference.

That part is totally unrelated to the jobs rant. But it spirals up there along with the mock interview questions and visions of dancing taquitos and worries about whether or not I'm capable of totally revamping my evening bedtime rituals.

Man I'm gonna be a mess tomorrow.

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