Prognosis: Guarded

You know, I thought about writing some kind of disclaimer on these recent entries. But I won't. This is my blog. And I'll write obsessively about my dog if I want to. I don't even know if anyone reads blogs any more now that facebook has for the most part replaced them.

Anyway, spending the night away from Fannie during the worst snowstorm I've ever witnessed was incredibly hard. With wind gusts up to 60 mph I pictured my poor sick, weak baby fighting to stand up outside, let alone do her business in the blustery snow.

Today for most of the day we were literally snowed in. Our street was impassable and our car will most likely be stuck in the garage in the unplowed alley for days.

We were able to pick up Fannie from the hospital this afternoon. We headed out on foot and by train, and came home by cab. The 8 mile round trip took us 3 hours.

But now we're home.

Even though I feel a little trapped & helpless with no transportation and the state of things outside.

I don't know.

Right now she's laying next to me in her sweater to keep her warm since her blood won't really do that job right now. Her breathing is a little labored and I'm trying not to let that freak me out, because the vets told us that labored breathing is one of the signs of a blood clot, and that for the rest of her life Fannie is at a high risk of blood clots, which we would not be able to do much about... and ugh. That was a long sentence.

I've been reading everything I can on Fannie's disease. I want to be a realist, but I want to know for certain that I've done everything I can for her.

I can't believe she's on four different drugs right now. I hate to think she may have to be on them for the rest of her life.

I can't seem to come to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to lose her to this disease sooner or later. Zach seems to get upset when I talk like this, but I'm afraid of being delusional. I need to be prepared.